A series by Doc Shades.
When Sam asked me to write a piece on what dance can bring you, I knew it was time to cover a question that everyone who is dancing (or is considering taking up dancing), may have in their mind. “Will Salsa/Bachata increase my chances to find a romantic partner?”
Yes! But try at your own peril!
Thank you, see you next week to discuss how to count to 8!
I’m kidding. This is a fascinating topic, so we will break it down into a few chapters.
This first chapter will try to provide a direct answer to that specific question. In a coming publication, we will take a deeper dive into this topic, to highlight some risks and pitfalls to be mindful of, and finally, I will share with you a few suggestions on how to approach the question of romance on the dance floor.
Let’s start with the obvious: meeting new people will always increase your chances of finding a romantic partner! Searching for this special someone, it is always a good idea to consider expanding your social circle. Mathematically, getting to know more people will increase your chances to find someone to share a slice of life with. In that regard, taking up dancing is a very good move (pun intended)! You join a new social circle, that’s a lot of new people in your life, and who knows, maybe one of them will be the One! And as far as I am concerned, as long as things are done respectfully, I think that’s a perfectly valid reason to take up dancing.
Or maybe you know someone and you are hoping that you know, maybe, your interest is reciprocated! So you go and get to know them and then it’s the big reveal! They dance! Hmm, maybe I should check out what it’s like, you know, just out of curiosity! I’ll let you in on a secret: my first kiss was with the girl I followed into the world of dance. So you know what, it works! Fast-forward 10 years, here I am, being very interested in this lady who does this dance I’ve never heard of: Bachata. Okay, I’ll give it a try, get to spend more time with her! And no romance. So it’s like everything when it comes to matters of the heart: there is no guaranteed recipe for success. But in the process, I discovered a new dance style, and I liked it a lot. And it’s through this class that I’ve met some of my closest friends. They know who they are, they go by this nickname, “The Fun Gang”! So you know what, join a class for a crush! I can’t promise that it will work out with them, but one thing is for sure, you will find lots of love and fulfillment.
Okay, that’s all nice and well, Doc Shades. But what about increasing my chances outside of the dance school social circle? Don’t worry, dear reader, we got you covered! And to introduce this reflection, I will call upon a piece of popular knowledge: it is commonly agreed upon that dancers make for better lovers, between the sheets! Something to do with cardio, and the ability to sustain a rhythm. To that list, I would add flexibility, especially if you take up more sensual dances like bachata. So being known as a dancer will surely help you score a few points with any prospective partner! And dancing has additional benefits: with continued practice, beyond the rhythmic performance, dancing is a sport! It will help you get in shape, increase your endurance, beautify your movements, and will generally have a positive impact on your self-image. A boost in confidence is sure to help you woo that special someone you really want to impress, be they a dancer, or not.
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I want to take a moment to talk about connection, though. Something that is present in Salsa, and even more so in Bachata. In these styles, you have two people who are connected for the duration of the dance. The connection goes through two mediums: the bodies, and the eyes. Putting aside all the very real aspects of self-judgment, a good dance is not necessarily one where you did the fanciest moves. It is the one where you built and sustained the connection with your partner, throughout the full dance. The one where they made you feel special, and you made them feel special.
So let me tell you. If you manage to do that, you’ll be in a very good spot, romantically, because with that physical connection, another one will be built: the empathic connection. Our bodies express our emotions physically, through our posture and our sensations. That’s why they are called feelings. You feel it in your flesh. So when the bodies and minds are in sync for a dance, the emotion will also be shared. As far as I am concerned, this beats any cheesy pickup line! So sure, it is no guarantee of reciprocated attraction but nonetheless, this can help you convey how you feel, and can also help you understand how your dance partner feels. Pretty good start to assess the potential for romance, I dare say! But be careful, for it can be easy to get confused between what is part of the performance and what is the message your partner sends you, especially when it comes to more sensual styles. We will cover this in the coming chapter, along with our discussion on the very important topics of respect, boundaries, and safety.
Let’s summarise: meeting more people will mathematically increase your chances to find a romantic partner, taking up dancing will have a positive impact on your body and mindset, therefore augmenting your chances to impress a special someone, and the close connection of the dance will increase your chances to form a bond with a partner. And even though sometimes, it just doesn’t work, you can be sure to meet a community of beautiful minds, and find friendship along the way!
So to answer the question we started with: “Will Salsa/Bachata increase my chances to find a romantic partner?” The answer is a resounding Yes! But as I hinted earlier, there are some pitfalls that you need to be aware of, and some precautions that you need to take, for everyone’s comfort. So stay tuned for our coverage of how to give yourself the best chances in a safe, respectful environment, and if you haven’t joined us yet, do so now and give yourself a chance to find a special someone at our next dance class. All it will cost you is a couple of hours of your time, and the reward is worth the investment, I promise you that.